Trying Not to Perish
by Mahagony07
Summary: Maka Albarn thinks she might be depressed. She puts a facade around other people. The only one who could see through it was the new student Soul Eater. Disclaimer- Do not own Soul Eater!


**Hello everyone! Keep in mind this is my first fan fic and that it probably sucks, but please still read it! I'm also a 7th grader so the grammar probably sucks, too. Please tell me what I did wrong. I also apologize for how OOC Maka is, but I honestly just put my own feelings into her character. :) Please review!**

I_ think I might be depressed, _do you know how guilty I feel for thinking that? I have a perfect life. A father who loves me(even if he is a whore), a really cute cat, and awesome friends. I should be happy that I'm not starving to death or something. Sometimes I stare at myself in the mirror thinking, _I'm wearing a mask, a mask that won't ever come off,_ and I get even more depressed. I've contemplated cutting, maybe it would be nice to see bright red contrasting against my pale skin. Suicide sounds sorta nice, an escape, but I vetoed the idea, knowing that even though it would be an escape for me, it would be a lot of pain for the people around me. But everyday its the same. I wake up, go to school, wit my cheery mask on, come home, read a book or two, sometimes eat dinner, sometimes not, and go to sleep. Or I at least try, my dreaded thoughts keep me up every night. I sometimes wish I would just perish.

_Beep beep beep. _This morning I'm not ready to wake up. I fell at three last night, staying up with the thoughts I tried to avoid during the day. I finally decide to silence my pounding alarm and get up. I stare at my self in the mirror for a few minutes, looking at the bags under my forest green eyes and covering them up with concealer. I then yank my sandy blond hair into pigtails and change into a white button up shirt and plaid skirt, what I usually wear. My hesitant legs drag me downstairs and I gobble down a banana. After setting down a bowl of cat food for Blair, my cat, I glance at my watch **8:33** _Shit! I'm late! _Grabbing my book bag, I jog out of the house and all the way to school. I pause at the doors and make sure my mask is on. Once I'm sure I push open the doors and jog to my homeroom. When I push open my door my class is the same havoc it usually is and I smile fondly. I find my place next to Tsubaki, one of my close friends. She turns her worried, almost indigo, eyes to me.

"Why were you late, Maka? Is everything alright?" See what I mean. I have _everything._I keep my composure, laugh and wave her concern away, "I'm fine just over slept." She sends me a relieved look and turns towards Blackstar, another friend, who is yelling maniacally , "I THE GREAT BLACKSTAR WILL SURPASS GOD! HAHAHAAHHAHAH!" making everyone laugh. Liz was in the back painting her nails a bright pink color nodding along to Patty's talk about giraffes. Kid is talking to Ox, most likely explaining the beauty of symmetry to him. "Where's Marie-Sensei?" I asked Tsubaki, casting my eyes over the front of the classroom, looking for her. Tsubaki shrugs, but just then the door opens.

Marie-Sensei walks in giving the class fleeting looks as she contemplates how wild we'll be today. She must figure we'll behave because she clears her throat. "Class please give me your undivided attention." Only me and Tsubaki are noticed she walked in. The teacher turns ashen, probably embarrassed for judging us wrong. I sigh feeling pity for her and stand up. "EVERYONE SHUT UP!" I bellow hoping my pigtails ate presentable when everyone turns to me I turn a deep scarlet and quickly sit down. Marie-Sensei mouths me a "thank you" and arranges herself into a model teacher.

"Students we have a new student with us! Come in Soul!" She motions for a boy I didn't notice to come in. He saunters in, sporting a white sweatshirt and jeans, tucking his hands into his pockets. He had snowy- white hair and ruby red eyes that roam over the room pausing here and there. "Please give your name to the class" Marie-Sensei commands. He leans bsck on the wall and angles his head our way. He looks around the room and his eyes seem to rest on... me. Why is he looking at me? Is there something in my hair? I self- consciously raise my hand up and touch my pigtails. He sees me do this and grins. I blush and cross my arms over my chest. I glare at him and he just keeps smirking.

"My name is Soul Eater." He announces. Marie-Sensei nods approvingly at him and addresses us. "Class do you have any questions for Soul." There's a pause of wary silence, as if everyone wants to keep this stranger before us a mystery. Patty is the first to speak up. "Do you like giraffes?" She asks. Soul lets out a chuckle. "Of course I do." He gives her a winning smile and she grins back. Blackstar is the next to interrupt the quiet. "You know I'm going to surpass the gods right? Don't ever doubt the Amazing Blackstar!" He starts to laugh hysterically. Marie-Sensei attempts to calm him down and says that't enough questions. She turns to me. "Maka as class representative I expect you to show Soul to all of his classes. We actually gave him all the same core classes you have so it would be easier." Just my luck. I get to show the new kid around. I notice she's still staring at me and I give her my sweetest smile.

Soul gets moving, and decides to sit next to Blackstar, who tries to include him in the conversation about how he's so awesome. I get up and stalk over to Liz and Patty. Liz pushes her straight dirty blond hair to the side and starts to work on her math homework (she should've done it yesterday!).Patty tells me stupid facts about giraffes. I nod along acting as if I'm interested. The bell finally rings and I stop by where Soul is sitting waiting for him to get up. He just sits there. I raise an eyebrow and clear my throat. He doesn't look at me so I clap my hands in front of his face. He glares at me. "What?" I place my hands on my hips. "There's something called class which we'll be late to class!" He gives me a _So what? _look and I glare at him. "Just come on!" I snap heading for the door. I turn back to see him lazily grin. "A feisty one, huh?" I huff and sprint out the door. This Soul Eater was gonna be a handful.

**Thanks for reading everybody! remember to review and tell me how much of a bad writer I am! (;**


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